Writing an Angry Email
Have you ever received an angry email? You most probably did… but has it ever worked?
There’s a lot of advice out there about writing angry messages in professional settings, which usually boil down to “DON’T.” But let us put some nuance to that.
Anger leads to impulsive decisions. But unlike a conversation, where things can get heated spontaneously, an email is usually considered more premeditated. And it stays on paper, or screen, forever. It can be taken out of context to be used against the writer, sometime in the future.
American lawyer and sports agent Mark McCormack argued that: “Anger can be an effective negotiating tool, but only as a calculated act, never as a reaction.”
Managing Emotions
Emotions are essential. They help us make decisions and then remember them for future reference. While controlling emotions is hard, managing reactions is a learnable skill.
Writing a message while angry and sending it while angry are two different decisions. A simple rule of thumb would be to first write it in a word processor — ideally far away from a convenient “send” button — and then leave that text be for a while.
It can actually be important to have things written down while angry for future reference and recollection. Rereading it in a calmer state after a few hours or even the next day helps better evaluate the necessity and consequences of a permanent record.
One can then edit accordingly before sending it away, or not, (or maybe call?). And the angrier one is, the more useful this rule becomes.
